Nipping From the Wrong Jug

By Robert Seay, U of A Division of Agriculture

First posted on 11-17-2008

BENTONVILLE, Ark. – Thanksgiving morning dawned bright, clear and unseasonably warm. It was just the sort of day to start the holiday season. However, Dad and Grandpa had already made plans to get the boys out of the house and into the woods so the women could get ready for company.

In two shakes we would usually load the truck with crosscut saws, axes, sledge hammers and metal wedges. However, Dad had recently bought his first chain saw!

Made by a company that built motorcycles, the saw must have weighed a hundred pounds. To a small boy like me, it appeared they had simply removed the wheels and attached a bar and chain!

Perhaps because plastic containers weren’t that common, a gallon glass jar was used to contain the chainsaw’s gas-n-oil mix. Grandpa had stuffed it into a brown paper sack, I suppose, believing that would prevent the gas from evaporating. Our water jug wasn’t a real ‘thermos,’ but simply another gallon glass jar wrapped with cotton insulation and also stuffed inside a brown paper sack. That sounds crude, but it kept the water a little cooler.

The chainsaw quickly delegated us younger boys to the task of stacking brush. Like most disciplinarians, there was only one way to stack brush, and that was Grandpa’s way! While taking a break from chain-sawing, Grandpa would critique our brush stacking skills.

On one memorable break, he reached down for the water jug while maintaining a threatening ‘you’d better do it right’ eye contact. We stood wide-eyed and silent, noting that Grandpa had grabbed the wrong jug!

As he slowly tipped the jug to drink, I suppose each of us thought the other would yell out in time to warn him. However, small boys simply did not have the authority to correct an adult, so, we didn’t. Needless to say, it took only one swig for Grandpa to realize his mistake!

After a few minutes of coughing and spitting, Grandpa, without saying a word, removed the wrappings from the jug. Needless to say, we returned to brush stacking with renewed vigor in hopes of avoiding his wrath. To our surprise, Grandpa began laughing.

“There’s no fool like an old fool” he noted, “and I’ll not make that mistake again.” As we loaded up for the trip home and Thanksgiving dinner, I remember that Grandpa didn’t bother to light his pipe!

Mom was an excellent cook and the holiday meals were the best, serving to draw friends and relatives from miles away. However, rather than turkey and cranberry sauce, my fondest memories are of the people and events which filled each holiday. Til’ next week!

The Cooperative Extension Service is part of the U of A Division of Agriculture